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Secrets of Successful Relationships with Colleagues: How to Communicate and Understand Each Other Correctly?

Work is an important part of life for most of us. When performing official duties, we are forced to maintain relationships with colleagues, cooperate and seek compromises. It’s good if your colleagues are nice and non-confrontational people. But what if it isn’t? After all, strained relationships in the team can poison the joy of even your favorite work.

Interaction with colleagues

Overcoming communication barriers in a team is very important for many reasons. Good relations between colleagues:

  • facilitate collaboration when working on common tasks;
  • make your work with colleagues more interesting and rich;
  • give a team spirit, provide support;
  • because you enjoy your work, you devote more effort to it and achieve better performance.

How to join the team in a new job?

So, you got a new job. It’s time to think about how to build relationships with new people. Many of us believe that this is the most unpleasant period of work, while you are still not familiar with anyone and do not know the rules adopted here. However, psychologists are sure that if you follow the instructions below, the problems of establishing connections will bypass you.
Watch and watch again. Try to notice how new colleagues behave in a particular situation.
If you are not sure, feel free to ask. For example, where to store these folders with documents or where to place your clothes. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: get an accurate answer and start communicating.
Finally, have lunch with your new colleagues. This way you will quickly find a common language, get acquainted with their manner of communication and norms of behavior. Don’t be afraid that you will be rejected. In most companies, newcomers are treated favorably.

Ways to gain respect in a team

Let’s talk about how to communicate with colleagues at work. Here are 10 fundamental principles.
Be honest in your communication, tell the truth, and avoid lying. Most people will appreciate your directness.
Keep a positive attitude while working. This will help establish good relationships with colleagues. Agree, no one likes whiners.
Be an open and friendly person. Even if you don’t want to communicate with your colleagues, you might want to push yourself.
Keep up conversations on any topic, not just professional ones. If a colleague wants to discuss movies or the weather, don’t turn them down. Remember that common interests bring you closer together.
In continuation of the previous point: take an interest in the lives of your colleagues. For example, ask how your vacation went, where your colleague went, and so on.

  1. Just do not go into the soul and ask for details of his family life.
  2. Feel free to ask your colleagues for help if you really need it. The main thing is not to abuse it.
  3. In turn, be prepared to help your colleagues. This way you can easily establish contact.
  4. Show genuine respect for each member of the team. Remember, everyone has their drawbacks. You should be more tolerant of them.
  5. Keep his word. If you promised to complete the project by Thursday, keep your promise. Your colleagues will trust you and know that they can rely on you.
  6. Don’t try to please everyone. This is simply not possible. There will always be people who will be dissatisfied with you. The main thing is to perform your duties conscientiously, be humane and polite in the workplace.

You are a woman in a men’s team

There are now unexpectedly many representatives of the stronger sex around you. Some people think you are a “blonde” and are sure that a woman in this job does not belong. Others show signs of respect and make timid attempts at courtship. Third-immediately take for equal.
Now you need to keep yourself in good shape, more than usual to monitor the appearance. It may also be difficult to prove yourself as a professional, and you may face an arrogant attitude.
And, alas, you will have to forget about conversations with girls from the neighboring Department about manicure, fashion updates and other “women’s” topics. To establish a relationship with a male colleague, you will have to work hard.

You are a man in a women’s team

Now you are surrounded by a lot of charming (and not so) representatives of the fair sex. On the one hand, you enjoy being in their company. On the other hand, you feel an increased attention to your own person, which can interfere with normal work.
When interacting while performing common tasks, keep conversations going. Remember, women like to talk. Even if you can’t find a common language right away, don’t give up trying.
Watch out for his speech. Obscene language is now completely banned.
Also, try not to accidentally offend any of the ladies with your words. Women are naturally touchier than men. You don’t want to make an enemy, do you?


A working team is people who have a lot in common. Therefore, it is customary to congratulate colleagues on various holidays and important events, such as:

  • New Year;
  • Birthday (for a man and a woman);
  • wedding;
  • childbirth;
  • retirement.

It is important to present gifts chosen from the heart. So that your colleagues are sincerely happy with your present.

What should you do if a co-worker doesn’t communicate with anyone?

Each organization employs single people. They do not go to corporate parties, have lunch alone, communicate little and only for work, do not tell anything about their personal life.
Why do they behave like this? Is this an act of arrogance? Don’t jump to conclusions. Here are the main reasons why people are lonely:

  1. They are introverts, they don’t need a lot of communication. Moreover, it strains them. They prefer to work intently and rest in silence. It is better not to touch such people, you will not be able to change them.
  2. They are very shy people. They would be happy to establish contacts with colleagues, but they do not know how, they are embarrassed. If you have such a colleague, help him, invite him to go to a cafe together for a lunch break, approach him, ask about his business.
  3. They perceive the atmosphere in the team as tense, unfriendly. They are afraid that any word spoken can be used against them. Therefore, they avoid getting close to their colleagues. If your work is really full of gossip and intrigue, then it’s time to think about yourself, and not about silent colleagues.

If you don’t communicate with others yourself

The reasons that may have prompted you to behave like this, we have already described in the previous paragraph. It remains to understand whether this is normal or urgent to do something?
If you don’t want to communicate with your colleagues because of your personality, try to find a compromise.
Understand that we all live in a society. And at work, we have our own circle of colleagues, to maintain relations with whom it is necessary. Try to be at least minimally involved in the collective life.

Emerging issue

Harmony and respect do not always prevail in the team. Most of us have faced various problems in our relationships with colleagues at work. Let’s analyze them one by one.


Envy in the work team is always unpleasant. You may become envious of the fact that you:

  • earned a promotion;
  • received an increase in salary or bonus;
  • attractive woman or confident man;
  • happy in family life;
  • and for many other reasons, often completely unexpected.

Snitch in the team

Another nuisance is the appearance of a Snitch. One of your colleagues reports you to your superiors. Tells about your mistakes, mistakes in behavior or inappropriate appearance.
If you encounter a “rat” at work, then accept 2 basic rules:

  1. stop talking about your personal life, watch your words, because they can become known to the boss at any time;
  2. use the Snitch for your own purposes: spread rumors through him that you are extremely dedicated to your work and the boss personally, that you work hard and take part of the work home, that you are planning upcoming meetings with clients in the evenings, etc.

Put a boor in his place

Among colleagues, sometimes there are outright boors or boors. They are put in their sarcastic comments, trying to hurt you. Such people are usually ill-mannered and do not have good manners.
To remain silent in response to the rudeness in any case impossible. So you will open the way for him and allow him to mock you. Here are the options for correct behavior:

  • be ironic in response to his attacks;
  • make a joke of your statements;
  • talk to the boor tete-a-tete, firmly urge to remember to be polite;
  • do not argue with them, but agree — so that your answers are completely absurd, this will confuse the detractor and moderate his enthusiasm;
  • analyze your behavior: maybe you yourself are giving a reason for rudeness;
  • in the most advanced cases, record boorish attacks on a dictaphone and take the recording to the boss, demanding to take action.


In any team, conflicts occur from time to time. Psychologists give useful tips to help you avoid unpleasant situations at work:
Find out and memorize your responsibilities. Give a firm refusal if someone tries to force you to do something you don’t have to.
Avoid discussing personal matters and problems with colleagues. What you say may turn against you one day.
Don’t be too reserved. Communicate and maintain relationships with colleagues. This way you can get to know them better and build a good relationship.
If someone offends you, insults you, or finds fault with you, try to understand the motives of this person and find a special approach to them. It is unlikely that you will make friends, but try to coexist peacefully together.

Energy vampire

Sometimes at work we fall into the clutches of energy vampires. They may be colleagues or superiors. There are two main types of vampires:
“Sunny” is an aggressor who wants to cause you negative emotions: such as resentment, confusion, and fear. To resist it, do not be fooled by provocations, just run away at the first attempts of the vampire to de-energize you. If it’s impossible to escape, laugh and make fun jokes, it always helps.
“Lunar” is a whiner who complains, talks endlessly about his problems, depriving you of energy and optimism. To avoid falling into the trap of such a vampire, try to stop communicating with him. If this can’t be done, answer him the same way he does: complain about life and talk about any, the smallest problems as if it were a universal tragedy. The vampire will turn tail and run away on its own.

If a coworker stopped communicating with you

Something must have happened. Perhaps he has a grudge against you or is plotting against you. The best thing is to talk to a colleague one-on-one. Ask why they avoid communicating with you.
If a colleague ignores your questions, it’s best to leave them alone and keep any interactions to a minimum.
At the same time, pay attention to the behavior of other employees. Have they grown cold to you? Perhaps a colleague doesn’t say Hello at work.
Maintain and strengthen relationships with other colleagues so that you will not be left without protection in any case. Worse, if all your colleagues do not want to communicate with you — this is a full-fledged boycott, which requires a special approach.
Thus, relationships with colleagues need to be built carefully and gradually. Do not forget that you communicate with them at work, so the main questions in conversations should be professional. Friendship is fine, but close relationships with co-workers can be a problem in the future. Keep your distance, behave correctly and respectfully with everyone. And then your work will be pleasant, and your relations with the team will be stable.

One comment

  1. We all know the feeling when we come to a new place of work and worry: will the new team accept me? How will my colleagues treat me, will they take me into account? The same thing would worry me.

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